angelamaryclaire

read about it here

They have bedbugs. I REPEAT THE FLAGSTAFF MOTOR INN MELBOURNE HAS BEDBUGS

Things that are wrong with the Sydney City Resort Hostel

- inexplicable use of the word “resort”.

- vile bright yellow halls and bathrooms (that are currently being repainted over a quite inoffensive hospital blue)

-false ceiling in the bathrooms made of old garden lattice that does nothing to disguise the layers of mould and peeling paint on the actual ceiling

-finding toilet paper in the bathroom is on par with winning the lottery

- staff surly and unwilling to divulge any information unless pressed. 

-internet was down for a night for an upgrade (but they didn’t mention it would be when booking)

-room booked for twin beds. It’s a double

-two powerpoints in room being used by the tv and fridge leaving nothing for mobile phones, laptops, cameras, straighteners, etc.

- walls of room painted baby pink with lilac trim. Like a nursery from the eighties

- double bed actually one of those bunks with the single on top, only with that bit removed.

- fridge in room but no sink

-sign saying no food in room (but theres a fridge)

- explosively hot and loud and reeking of whatever hellstew someone has cooked in the kitchen.

-no idea where the kitchen is (see uninformative staff)

- bath hasn’t been cleaned since the war (after the ration coupons ran out)

- clump of hair on side of bath. Been there since yesterday

- no grate on shower drain. Open hole into whereever.

- no bathmat or non slip mat or shower curtain. Everything in the room gets saturated

- The table my compter is on right now is an octagon. Goddamn octagons.

-There is what looks like an ensuite to this room but the door is locked. What’s in there? It’s killing me.

-indescribable feeling of uncleanliness. 

Things that are right about the City Resort Hostel.

-convenience store diagonal sells Dr Pepper, Big Red and the entire Reeses range.

-close to the city

-not the Hotel California so I can leave

I went to Bondi and wasn’t the whitest person on the beach.

Applying sunscreen every half hour does not necessarily mean you won’t get sunburnt (if you’re a paleface ginger)

Big Red is actually drinkable (Although I am on my first can and I suspect I have sunstroke)

I lost my underpants but I found them again in a beach locker along with a whistle that wasn’t mine.

Freckles on my hands.

Big Red is revolting after 5 sips.

I am so gonna eat one of those chicken caesar wraps on the plan. They are strangely addictive.

They are on Virgin right?  Oh man! Celebrate good times, c’mon!

Missing the Airporter bus and having to pay 43 dollars for a cab to the airport.

Getting to the airport and having the following things happen

Paying 4.50 for a teeny coffee

Pussycat dolls “Girlicious” or whatever its called raping my ears on channel V

Cleaners cleaning with vacuums vacuuming. Hows the serenity?

And right now, having to board when I haven’t finished my teeny coffee that was 4.50.

Don’t bitch about the loudly band (eg. Nick Cave) not playing your favourite song (eg. Into My Arms) while they are doing the encore and other people are actually loving it. It makes you look like an uncultured dick who only knows the popular songs. At least try and hide this. Everyone hates you.

Don’t hassle people for a loan of their vip or backstage lanyard. If they get caught, they will get it taken off them and that would suck. Also don’t ask people to get drinks from backstage for you, or to help smuggle you backstage. It doesn’t work like that. Everyone hates you.

Don’t throw things at the band! Fuck! Are you retarded or what? Everyone DEFINITELY hates YOU.

If you’re going to heckle, make it clever. “Play some slayer” doesn’t cut it anymore. Funnily enough everyone, including the band, hates you.

Don’t take acid and drink half a bottle of vodka by 1pm. You will end up in the save a mate tent, hospital or dead. Everyone pities you because you’re a moron who tried to impress their friends and had it massively backfire. Enjoy listening to the band of the wail of an ambulance siren.

Be nice to the staff. They are hating it and they definitely hate you if you’re rude to them. Which you probably were.

People making weird references to me in their facebook status.

Moving house on the hottest day of summer (so far). This happens every single year.

Missing out.