angelamaryclaire

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Possibly the best representative our great nation has on the internet…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kX_uXl7wQks

NSFW as it’s very sweary.

I’m sure anyone who was watching 60 Minutes last night was as disgusted as I was by the first two disgaceful stories and the way they were presented. Dolly Parton was the third story and while she is an ABSOLUTE GENIUS whom I WONT HEAR A WORD AGAINST, she wasn’t exactly the hard news story that could have saved this dismal episode.

The story on the NSW Public Order and Riot Squad which was a very thinly veiled recruitment video. I wonder how much they were paid to run that story. It was an absolute embarrasment that glorified violent thuggish behaviour, not from the public but from the police themselves. Trying to soften their image by focusing on one of the two women in the PORS unit failed embarrasingly when they showed the pitiful way that particular woman was treating the public.

While they had attempted to give the PORS unit a public face and a bit of sympathy for what a shitty job it is, they really lost any respect in the last piece of footage where one of the officers was getting all shovy and violent in the faces of two guys who had done nothing. He was shouting at them to get away from the lady officer (they were seemingly just asking her a question) and shoved them both down the street, knocking one over. This was after half the story was spent establishing that this lady officer can handle her own on the street. Sigh. I am deliberately being patronising with the phrase “lady officer” by the way.

Here is the story blog and here is the transcript fromt the 60 Minutes site.  There is footage on there as well.

The next story was some terrible bullshit about cougars (women who date younger men) that was real Today Tonight material and a fucking disgrace. I was going to write more about that but I’m all mad now after watching that terrible footage again,

60 Minutes, you should be ashamed. How embarrasing for wonderful journalists who previously worked on the show to be watching that episode. They must be wondering where it all went so wrong. Perhaps next week you can do an episode about Chinese people taking over Australia, Sydney grocery prices and perhaps the Dave Hughes/ Eddie McGuire feud.

No? Noone does. Anyway it’s in the paper again because apparently Ms Irby had her son sitting next to her while she she knocked one off with Daniel Melia.

There story is here. Thanks again News.com.au, you are a truly inspirational publication and nothing you print could ever be lies.

I was discussing this school reunion phenomenon with some friends the other day. We are all about the same age so our a few of us suffered through reunions recently or are bang-up looking forward to them in the near future. Noone had any particularly astonishing stories from their reunions but there were the few people who had done “stuff”, like be in a film or go to the Olympics. That sort of stuff. Couple of people had been hit up in the slammer but I’m from Devonport so that’s not really interesting. Then the interesting concept of “just not going” was brought to the table. Well… you have to go don’t you? School = compulsory so therefore school reunions = also compulsory. At least that’s the slim connection I had made and not really given any further thought too. Just not going. Wowsers. Not showing up does add an air of mystery and deviance that would otherwise be missing, but if you aren’t there to enjoy it does it really matter? You have to have a pretty genius excuse to miss the school reunion I think.  And make a video from your alternate location explaining why you couldn’t attend..

“Sorry I’m not there everyone, I’m filming a Hollywood blockbuster in LA. It’s a bit of a drag but the 60 Mil has been nice.” – Cut to gratuitous shot of the Hollywood Hills sign. Preferably have a celebrity friend in the video with you. “Oh, this is my boyfriend. He has a real name, but you guys call just call him Seth-From-The-OC”

“Apologies everyone. I was really hoping to get some time off to come and reunite with you all but obviously curing cancer is quite time consuming. Here we are in the lab..” -Cut to sweeping shot of a gleaming white lab with a bunch of overly beautiful lab assistants/underwear models. Assistant rushes up and whispers something. “Sorry, I’ll just have to look at this” Look into microscope. “Can I have your attention everyone. Cancer is cured.”

“Hola everyone down there on Earth. Sad to be missing out on the reunion but this space station won’t upgrade it’s own software (pause for laughter).” Insert some kind of pun about space. “Hope your all having a good night, I’m feeling a bit spaced out myself (another pause). Camera pans back to reveal me in a spacesuit having off the side of the international space station. Flash a peace sign “Better get back too it. I’ll be back on solid ground next week where I will be staring as myself in a movie about my life as the youngest female astronaut to single handedly do everything ever.”

So clearly unless you come up with some amazing apologies video to send in lieu of yourself, you have to attend your reunion.  There are a few exception to that rule but they are all unmentionable.